Laura Guckian on Building Momfessions, Breaking Taboos, and Helping Women Feel Seen

10 Questions with Parenting Podcast ‘Momfessions ‘ Host Laura Guckian

As a Motherhood Coach, maternal mental wellbeing expert, and founder of Mind Mommy Coaching, Laura Guckian has become one of the most authentic voices in modern motherhood. Through her award-winning podcast Momfessions, Laura Guckian has built a safe space where women can speak the truths so often left unsaid from guilt and regret to laughter and resilience.

In this exclusive interview with Chic Style Collective, she opens up about her journey from Ireland to the UK podcast scene, the power of vulnerability, and why it’s time to rewrite the rules of motherhood for good.

1.Momfessions is an award-winning parenting podcasts. How did the idea first come to life, and did you ever imagine it would resonate so widely? 

When I first shared the idea for Momfessions with a couple of podcast producers in Ireland, they basically told me ‘this is not a podcast’. I was so firm in my belief it would work – and so I decided to not listen to them and try Producers in the UK. I found a wonderful team in Insanity Studios who wanted to produce Momfessions. So for me, the challenge was more about the confidence to keep going and really stand in my belief that it had the possibility to be an amazing podcast mothers would connect to. I suppose I was brave enough to knock on doors in the UK.

But it doesn’t surprise me that it has done well, and I don’t mean that arrogantly. Mothers from across Ireland, the UK, Australia and America tune into Momfessions, and I think it’s because the feelings and experiences we have in our Western culture of motherhood are universal. It doesn’t matter where you’re based, we can all relate. We might be navigating very different circumstances, but the feelings are the same. And I think that is one of the reasons why it has connected so well, not just an audience in the UK, but worldwide. 

2.⁠ ⁠You broke into the UK podcast scene from Ireland. What were some of the biggest challenges you faced, both personally and professionally? 

I created Momfessions because honestly it was the podcast I so desperately needed when I was navigating my hard chapter of motherhood – it was something I couldn’t find. All I could hear were well-known mums talking about experiences in motherhood that weren’t particularly deep or on the sharp end of things – and it’s not to bash those, I love listening to them now, it’s just not what I needed at the time. I needed to hear from everyday mothers or ‘normal’ mothers who were feeling and experiencing the same challenging things as me in motherhood. So when I overcame my hard chapter, I thought, that’s it, I’m going to be the person to do it. I wanted mothers to be front and centre, and so the basic idea was to get mothers to share their toughest and darkest thoughts and experiences with me via voice notes and to talk about them.

I wanted to create space for us mothers to speak about the things we’re societally not supposed to. Of course I was nervous, especially as it was a very different concept at the time – voice notes weren’t even really a thing then. But no, it didn’t surprise me that it resonated so much with mothers because through coaching practice, Mind Mommy Coaching, I was supporting mothers every day. Therefore I had the privilege of knowing that a large number of mothers were feeling similarly. There was something in my gut telling me it was going to be a success – and I think it’s because a lot of what mothers are craving right now is reality. They want to feel seen in their experiences. They don’t want to feel guilt or shame anymore. And I think Momfessions is a podcast which allows them to do that. 

3.⁠ ⁠Season 5 features some incredible guests — including Olivia Bowen. What have been the most surprising “momfessions” you’ve heard so far? 

I have been so incredibly lucky to have these phenomenal guests on my podcast. And, I think the biggest takeaway for me as a motherhood coach is whether you’re an incredibly well-known mum like Olivia Bowen, or you’re, you know, a teacher living in the middle of the UK, we all actually have the same feelings. The ‘momfessions’ that well-known guests share with me are the same as the mums who aren’t well known.  

All the ‘momfessions’ stick with me, but there are two ‘momfessions’ which come to mind now. One was from a mum who was carrying a sense of massive regret. She had an incredibly strong urge and wish she could turn back time to have another go at early motherhood because she felt she’d completely failed it. The regret was eating her up. I felt honoured to talk about it on the podcast because I think it helped her realise, and anyone listening feeling the same thing, that going back wasn’t the answer. Feeling regret or wanting to turn back time isn’t unique, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

We are humans, and it is not possible to literally turn back time – and so I try to encourage the idea that it’s not the past you want to change. It’s making sure you make different choices or seek and accept different sources support for a different and happier chapter. If the early chapter of Motherhood didn’t go how you wanted, you haven’t failed as a mother. We all have to learn on the go and figure out how motherhood works for us – so let that guilt go. 

The second one which struck me deeply was a really honest mum who shared that she regretted becoming a mother, and that she had this deep sense of wondering if she made the wrong decision due to finding it so incredibly hard. It’s something I hear a lot, and I try to help mothers reposition that – it might not be that they’re regretting becoming a mother, it might be stemming actually from regret over it feeling so hard, completely exceeding any expectations.

Then equally, there are those really funny ones – like the ‘momfession’ from Shan Welby. She disclosed something she’d never told anyone. She had brought her little newborn baby on holiday to a short-term rental, and her baby had one of those massive nappy explosions just as she was getting ready to have a bath. She realised it had somehow seeped below the floorboards and explained how she just panicked and was really worried, not knowing what to do! She didn’t know if she should take action or fess up? Ultimately she panicked so much and left it there.

She described how terrible she felt for doing it and wondered if the owner found it or what happened after. So that’s what I love about Momfessions. It’s the really, really deep stuff, with the equally lighthearted mistakes that make us feel like the worst mother in the moment. Ultimately, we’re all just humans doing our best. 

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4. You often speak about the link between maternal and paternal mental health. What do you think still needs to change in how society and workplaces support parents on both sides? 

Absolutely. There is a massive link between maternal and paternal health. And that’s why it was amazing to have Mat and Lawrence on to speak so honestly about their mental health. I mean, if the partner you love dearly is struggling with their mental health in early parenthood, of course, it’s going to have an impact. And equally, the relationship the mother has with her partner is going to impact her maternal mental health too. 

I’d love if we took seriously the idea of bringing the same policies to the UK as those countries who are getting this right, like Sweden, for example. Sweden’s model of care for new mothers isn’t just reserved to healthcare. It’s community, it’s governmental policy, policies in the workplace and so on – Sweden has two years of maternity leave shared between the couple. It gives both the mother and father the choice to go back to work or stay at home. 

Another thing I’m passionate about is looking at going beyond educating mothers during the antenatal classes. We should be educating both sides – preparing them for what could happen for the mother post-birth, how they might feel, and then arm them with the tools of how to deal with it and offer support. 

I really do think we need to start talking about maternal and paternal health as one, rather than in isolation, because there can be quite a negative narrative that exists which either knocks dads down or says they don’t have it as hard. But they do, like we all have mental health, whether you’re a man or a woman, and becoming a parent is a massive transition. If that shift happens then the provision of support will increase for both parents. 

5.⁠ ⁠There’s a growing conversation around the “12-week rule” for pregnancy announcements. Why do you believe it can be isolating for mothers and families? 

The 12-week rule is such an interesting one and it’s definitely something that is more prevalent in Ireland and the UK. I mean, if you look at the United States, it’s not something they really practice. When they become pregnant, they tell their friends and family immediately. And I would love if that rule could be ditched in Ireland and the UK, especially as someone who’s experienced two miscarriages – something I discussed with Olivia Bowen when she was on my podcast. Olivia was sharing that she unfortunately lost one of her twins to vanishing twin syndrome. And we both agreed that the 12-week rule needs to be ditched because it drives loneliness in mothers.

It makes them feel very isolated. If they do experience a pregnancy loss, then it can feel harder to share that with friends or family because in the same breath, you’re telling them you’re pregnant and now you’re not. Even if you don’t experience pregnancy loss, the first trimester can be an incredibly challenging time. You can be exhausted, you can feel sick. If you’re a first-time mum, it can feel scary. By having that rule, we’re stopping women from confiding in a friend or talking to someone, saying ‘this feels really hard’ and then getting that support. Of course, it’s a very personal choice. A mother doesn’t have to share. In my experience though, it’s so lovely to have friends to confide in the moment you find out you’re pregnant. 

6.⁠ ⁠You’ve described motherhood as something we were “promised” or socialised to expect versus the messy, beautiful reality. What has your own experience taught you about reconciling those two worlds? 

I think both can be true. I think a woman can become a mother and she can have this fabulous experience where she gets that gush of love and everything is amazing and she really loves it. And that is valid and true for her. Equally, you could be a mother like me or many of the women who have shared their ‘momfession’ with me – who became a mother, expected it to feel amazing….and it wasn’t the case. It felt hard. It felt scary. We need to start talking about both realities because they’re both real and valid. And actually, when you step out of it, neither are to do with the woman herself. I like to talk about Mother, Motherhood and Mothering as three distinctive things.

Mother being your identity, something we mothers are 100% of the time. Then there’s the Mothering – the act of the caregiving; this is where the mental load comes from. Lastly, Motherhood which reflects the society where we became a mother, where we sit in that society, and then our access to support or lack of support.  

Dr. Sophie Brock, who I studied with last year really helped frame my thinking on this. When you phrase Mother, Motherhood and Mothering as three distinct things, it gives permission to enable multiple things to be true at once. Maybe someone would say for example, ‘I love being a mother, but I find getting up in the middle of the night, and so the mothering caregiving aspect, really hard’.  

I’m really frustrated with the lack of support in motherhood because ultimately, where we enter Motherhood in society completely determines what our experience will be. So if you’re a mother who has financial security, have a brilliant and healthy partnership, good mental health, good physical health, good access to support, then you are more likely to have a good experience of motherhood. If you’re a mother who enters motherhood with poor mental health, without a good partnership or no partnership, poor financial security or access to support, then it is going to feel more challenging. And I think when we look at it from that lens, it enables the conversation to open up and allow women to share their honest experience by identifying what aspect is hard. Being a Mother, Mothering, or Motherhood. 

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7.⁠ ⁠You’ve spoken candidly about raising a neurodivergent family. What advice do you have for neurotypical partners who want to better understand and support their loved ones with AuDHD? 

This is a really great question. I think it’s good to start by recognising that what you believe Autism, ADHD or AUDHD is, is not necessarily the case. Neurodivergence shows up differently for different people. So I think it’s about going into it with honesty and really just speaking to your partner about what they need, want, and exploring how you can support them. And very often, I know from my neurodivergent children and I know from myself, I can’t always name what it is that I want. I might just feel this sense of overwhelm or exhaustion. So I think it’s about knowing that your partner or your children might not always be able to communicate what they want. It’s about recognising that the small things really make a difference.

For example, in our house, we have a really strict routine and we love it. It’s exactly what we need. But if one small thing goes off in that routine, the wheels come off and me and my children can become very overwhelmed and exhausted and stressed. So I think it’s about asking your partner, what are the small things I can do in a day to help you feel better? And I think the third thing is literally ditching the rules. And this is what I’ve done as a neurodivergent mother – realising that the rules no longer apply.

The rules being the milestones, the societal expectations….and that can be a scary thing, but it can also be an amazing thing because you finally have permission to create your own rules. You get to create the parenthood or motherhood journey you want. It can be very freeing. It allows you to let go of the things that your family no longer needs, and you just do exactly what you need as a family. 

8.⁠ ⁠Your guests often share raw, emotional, and truths about parenting. How do you create such a safe space for vulnerability while still keeping the tone so uplifting? 

This is also a really great question. Due to being a motherhood coach and supporting mothers, I’m hearing this every day from mothers and supporting them through it. I feel lucky that I’m not just a Podcast host. I’m also a professional with expertise and so I have been trained to create that space. It’s really important because there have been times, of course, where I hear really deep, sad things which make me feel emotional!

But I try to go into recording Momfessions as an expert, assuming or imagining they are a client sitting in front of me and holding the same safe space for them as I would do in the therapy room. When I was starting Momfessions, that’s something I had in mind. I almost wanted it to feel like a live coaching session to really help my guests and the audience members who share their ‘momfession’.  

A great example is of a guest I had on recently, her name was Rosanna Ruan. She’s extremely well known in Ireland. Her daughter, Saoirse, passed away from cancer, and it was one of the toughest episodes I ever had to record, but I didn’t cry. I felt so emotional but I wanted to hold that space for Rosanna in a respectful way. For me, there’s no good or bad feelings in motherhood. They’re all just feelings. And I’m quite curious, even if it is something really, really deep to normalise talking about it. Enquiring to what it feels like – it gives women greater permission to talk about the really sad and hard things in a way that is a bit more uplifting.

And that’s not to dismiss the pain of it. But I think sometimes in maternal mental health, it can all feel very serious, which sometimes it is of course. I’m just trying to bring a bit of normality to it. And as I say to my clients, sometimes even during the most challenging times in motherhood, if you can find a way to laugh about it or make light of it, sometimes that can be exactly what you need to just take the next step or move forward in whatever you need to do in your day. 

9.⁠ ⁠As a mother, podcaster, and advocate, how do you personally protect your own mental health when your work revolves around such emotionally charged conversations? 

Honestly, this is going to sound like such a cheesy answer, but it’s really simple. The work I’m doing now gives me such a sense of purpose and fulfillment and happiness that it is what supports my maternal mental health. As someone who as lived experience of really, really struggling with my mental health, I think through this work, I have healed personally. And it gives me so much joy knowing that I’m supporting other mothers.

When you strip it all back, my main aims are to help more mothers feel seen in their experience of motherhood, to recognise they’re not doing anything wrong, and help them have better maternal mental health. It’s as simple as that. So, when I get messages from women saying, I just listened to Momfessions and it really helped me, or I felt so seen, it feels so worth it. I remember one lady sending me a DM after I talked about Matresence on Momfessions who said she actually had to sit on a park bench because she felt so validated. That is what brings me joy.  

Having said that though, I also make sure that I give myself whatever I need and want. And what I mean by that is, I live by what I preach. I always tell mothers, you are the most important person in your family. Your needs must be met. It’s not selfish. It’s essential. I am very self-aware now – I know when I’m becoming depleted or tired. I know what I need to do to fill up my reserves. And I absolutely do it without guilt, without shame. I recognise that when I’m okay, I am the best version of me to support my children. I literally live and breathe by Minding Mummy. 

10.⁠ ⁠For anyone listening to Momfessions for the first time, what’s the one message you hope they take away? 

Honestly, I hope the number one thing that someone would take away from Momfessions, no matter what chapter of motherhood they’re navigating, be it easy or hard, is that you are not alone. The feelings and experiences you are having, there are thousands, tens of thousands of other mothers feeling the exact same thing as you, and that you’re not doing anything wrong.

Whatever you’re feeling, there’s no shame, no guilt – it’s shame and guilt that make it harder to seek help or understanding from others. Even if you are in the hardest of chapters of motherhood now, it too shall pass. And again, that sounds cheesy, but motherhood is all about chapters. Some are harder than others. Plus, maintaining the hope and belief (and hope is a massive thing if you are struggling in motherhood) that there is a happier, easier chapter ahead.

Laura Guckian is a Motherhood Coach and Maternal MentalWellbeing expert, Founder of Mind Mommy Coaching @MindMommyCoaching and host of the award winning Momfessions podcast. Listen here.